Futz |fətz|

  1. To idle around; waste time
  2. To deal with something in a trifling way
  3. To work on something for long hours and achieve little or nothing that is useful

I have done a lot of futtsing in my lifetime and still am as I spend days troubleshooting things on my computer without any results.

This is a word I found interesting enough to blog about because it is really a very important part and discriptor of my life. It doesn’t merely describe loitering or procrastinating but describes a fruitless, humdrum, forceful effort that is unnecessarily prolonged.

There was a time when I was contrary to this state. But… that was before I went to graduate school and learned to question the veracity of things. That was a time when I was on autopilot and behaved like an automaton; a time when I did not bother to observe the truths within the truths and my notion of fruitfulness were an illusion instilled in me during my childhood by my social environs. I figured that people kept lying to me about various things because they weren’t motivated to deal with my vexing questions.

Now I am a part time crusader for excavating knowledge and light. Yes, only part time because its a mighty tiering job and the things I manage to excavate usually make me sad… sad for all of humanity but mostly for myself.  The sorrow makes me all the more tiered so I end up spending most of my time listless and dejected. But then I get sick and tiered of being sick and tiered and try to get on with the next question that bulges in my mind and then… repeat.

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